We all fall in love with a person or with love itself through a person, and in the second case we imagine or actually pretend that the this person has got all what we want, in both cases we just live sweet days full of sweet feelings and emotions such as passion, anxiety, anticipation, self confidence, etc..
We enjoy lots of glorious, romantic and extra ordinary moments, such as a bunch of flowers on our desk, doorstep, or even our car, just to express love or apology or only “I miss you”.
A romantic dinner on our birthday followed by a huge surprise party that includes all your friends and you learn later that your lover has been through a lot in the few days before to make it happen.
Hardly noticing he has friends as all his time is spent with you.
Finding lots of things from your secret wish list are getting achieved by your lover, like running in the rain, eating some kind of ethnic food, or traveling to a certain place.. and it makes you wonder "did he read the list behind my back" or "we wish the same things" so it’s a sign that he is your soul mate.
And oh yes… on the top of all gaining all the envy of your lover ex’s and yours as well; for the amazing relationship you’ve got.
Isn’t that something!
Then, it comes to a phase where you feel you just can’t live without this person and you want to spend the rest of your live with him, and you both take serious steps for such purpose, then you find yourselves actually in “The getting married process”.
You face lots of pressure and problems regarding the house, the furniture, the furnishing, wall paper, floors, families , parents, money , stress , honeymoon reservation, work leave and so on.
You hang on and tell yourselves "if we can make it through all this mess, we can make it through anything else to come".
You fight the temptation to fight, you try to overpass your lovers mistakes and try yourself not to make any... just until this stressful phase passes.
At last you get married to the one you love passing through the path of thorns, you fought everything to be together with your lover and start your romantic love story.
After you come from the honeymoon and settle in your new house, it’s so exciting everything is significantly new, you are so happy.. and not to forget you are with the one you love, isn’t that just perfect!
Now it’s the phase of Realization and Discovery. You discover that your lover snores!
He sleeps late, you sleep early...
He sleeps late, you sleep early...
You realize that he thinks ”flowers die, so it’s more beneficial to buy something that would actually live, but only if you insist I’ll get you some” .
You realize that just a nice home cooked dinner for him is a better celebration, than the surprise party you gave for his birthday.
You discover that he actually got friends and he must hang out with them once or twice a week!
That he never eats the supper meal unlike you, and that he sleeps with the a/c on while you freeze if you did so, so it’s always a fight whether to turn it on or off.
You realize that you love Italian food, and he hates it and got sick of it! , and he only likes Indian food so it’s really hard to decide a restaurant.
He doesn’t like old movies and you do , he loves sports unlike you, so it’s always a fight over the remote control.
You realize he hates almost all the music you like and loves almost all the music you hate.
Finally you discover and realize that you married your opposite with all his habits and likes and hates. And you wonder how come all that wasn’t clear from the beginning?! you went to hundreds of restaurants and listened to lots of songs and you talked lots of times about your personal likes and dislikes..how could this be my life with my soul mate? Isn’t it a pity!
Resistance! That's what you both do, you resist his method of spending his day and night and he resists abiding to your system of living…you try to change him, he tries to make a new “you” and all the trials fail with feeling of despair and dissatisfaction, but you both still keep trying.
Sometimes you think of the word “compromise”, he comes to you half way and you go to him half way…useless! you both feel you did your own share of sacrifice and compromising but still not happy with the conclusion, and you see that neither your partner is happy with it.
Then what? Then you feel desperate and believe that all your dreams of an eternal romantic love story have crashed on the rocks of reality, so you try to cope with your new “miserable” life with that horrible opposite of you, you try to search for some light some positive things just to ease the fact on you..you keep up all night …you think and think and gradually it all comes to you…
The reality about your lover and you… let’s look at the bright side… remember how many times a day you say “ I love you” to each other.
He doesn’t get you flowers unless you insist, but he gets every bag, shoes and piece of accessory you ever wish for ,with or without an occasion.
When he turns the a/c on he makes sure you’re well tucked in the cover ,and takes you in his arms to keep you warm.
When he is out with his friends, he calls you on your cell phone from time to time to check on you and say he misses you.
When you sleep early and he is still awake as he sleeps late; he does some house chores to help you... he always makes sure there is water by the bed side so you won’t have to get up in the middle of the night to drink, and he puts your cell phone on the charger as you always forget, so he can call you the next day when you’re both out.
When he said “I would have loved more the home cooked dinner than the surprise party” it was followed by “ as I wanted to spend this occasion only with the one I love most.. and indulge myself with her fine cooking”.
He is sick of Italian food as he spent all the period since he has ever known you eating it for you and trying to force himself to like it, but he failed, however he just loves the Indian food since the day you tried it together.
You both love horror movies and you spent evenings stuck to each other on the sofa under the warm blanket watching a horror movie and eating popcorn.
You sat next to him for around an hour cheering and screaming and asking stupid and ignorant questions concerning the match you were both watching, where your national team was playing in the world cup matches and he was even patient enough to explain to you what was going on.
Though you hate oldies songs unlike him, you love to listen to “you fill up my senses” as he says it reminds him of you. You both adore Latin music and you took salsa dancing classes and did the best performance ever at your wedding party.
Then by the end of the night ,you figure it out…
He is all what you want even if he was your exact opposite!
You go to bed to sleep, you find him sleeping and snoring, you smile, he wakes up and in a sleepy voice he says:“ shall I turn off the a/c??”
You answer: “no, just take me in your arms, and I’ll be fine”